Ever heard the phrase, "The more things change, the more they stay the same?" I don't know where it came from, or why I know it, but it just randomly popped into my head. And you know what? Other than the word "change" I'm not sure how much it has to do with what's been on my mind lately.
    
     Recently, I've learned that I really don't like change. One of my kind-of friends and one of my former freinds broke up after going out for a year. I never really aproved of them going out at first, and yet I felt oddly, almost disappointed, and kind of sad when they broke up, even though eveyone had seen it coming for a while.
     
     One of my other friends has also started hanging out with said girl, and the three of us used to be really close a few years ago, even though we only met her that year, whereas my friend and I had known eachother since second grade. They got in a rift last year since my not-so-much-of-a-friend was really fickle, and not being a good friend at all. And then there was nothing; not talking, not friends, at all. And I got my friends and I got our friend back. But at the beginning of the year, when they had a few classes together, they were magically friends again. And I don't know that I like it. And I feel really petty and childish for feeling this way, but I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of jelous about how easily they just got along again. I don't know, it just bothers me.
     
     And my older sister is going out with someone who I not only dislike, and doesn't like me, but who made my sister's life miserable in grade eight. And, oh, ya. He's MY age. And friends with one of my best friends. But whatever, I have to deal. And he has seemed to try to be pleasant lately, I'll give him that. AND he apologized for being an ass. I never would have expected him to do that. But still. It's change.
   
     I just really hate change. My least favourite time of the year is exam time, and lately I've thought that maybe its not because of the tests, or the pressure. It's because I don't want to move my schedule; don't want to have to get used to different classes. But after a week, I like it.  I don't like change.
   
     Ha. I guess the more things change, the more things really do stay the same. Through all these changes, I still have the same friends, even if their presence has decreased. I still have the same feelings and opinions, and I still have to cope. Everytime I just have to get used to new habits.
   
     It really surprised me how badly I felt when the people I know broke up. It just bothers me, and I really don't know why. That's what's really getting to me. Maybe it's not even change, but changing. People growing up and making new friends and losing old ones. Maybe it's just new to me. Most likely, though, everyone feels like this. But a lot of the changes I've seen recently have had to do with relationships. Can't things just stay the same? But you can't tell people what to do, and who to be friends with or how to feel about eachother. Especially not because you don't want your friend to have a friend who isn't you. Doesn't that just sound petty? Immature? Normal? Yes, no, maybe? But it's not so much that as, I don't want her ditching me for someone else. Which, again, is not my place. I have no right to tell someone who to hang out with, and it's not like either of them are mean. Not like she's changing at all.
    
     So . . . ya. I don't like change. I want to go to Never Land. Anyone else feel the same, ever?